Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the way that time has a funny way of passing. Sometimes it feels like time passes so quickly that it seems you blink and you miss it and other times it feels like its passing incredibly slowly. These past 12 months feel like they’ve been the longest 12 months of my life, it’s not that they’ve been tough or difficult in any way, it’s just that so much has happened looking back I think, “Wow, how on earth have I managed to fit everything in?”
Honestly if someone had turned round to me at this point last year and told me that I’d be sat here writing this having experienced everything that I’ve experienced these past 12 months a small part of me may have gone; “Hmm, okay I kinda see that happening,” but a much larger part of me would have turned round and gone “Ha, you must be completely crazy!”
The biggest thing that strikes me, or that has had the most impact on me possibly, are those people who are amongst those I would consider my closest friends, that are the most important people to me right now. Of all the people who I text and ring regularly, the people I ask to go the cinema with, or on nights out with, or for food with or just to generally to just sit and chat only one of them I would have even considered texting them at this time last year. In fact at most of those people I didn’t even know this time last year and a few I didn’t even know 6 months ago. The other day I was sat in the kitchen with one particular friend of mine, who I’d text, as I often do: ‘Get dressed, I’m on my way to yours’, and we commented how not even 6 months ago, whilst we did know each other, the idea of being sat in his kitchen having an emotional heart to heart over a cup of tea would have just been plain weird. It shows just how quickly relationships with people can change in such a short space of time.
Another thing that I think has changed dramatically in the past 12 months is how I feel about myself. It’s something that I can’t exactly pinpoint or fully explain beyond just a general feeling of being different to how I was this time last year, but a part of it is just that I feel so much more confidant, much moreself assured and much more comfortable in my own skin. There’s a line from Lucy Spraggan’s song ’23’ that I feel seems to describe exactly how I feel: “It’s taken ink in flesh and sunburnt necks to be happy in the skin I own.” I’m not quite there yet in knowing exactly who I am however I do feel much happier being me.