Dear Dad (I Did It)

Dear Dad,

I know I wrote one of these letters to you recently, so I hope you don’t mind me writing one again so soon. This one is slightly different to the ones I’ve written to you before though. It’s the first one I’ve written out in my notebook before typing it up. It’s the first time I’ve felt strong enough to be able to deal with my emotions more than once. It’s also different because this time I want to tell you what I’ve been doing with my life, rather than the way I feel. I want to tell you all those things you’ve missed.

It’s been over a year since you died, so I guess I have rather a lot to catch you up on, don’t I? I don’t even know where to start exactly, but I guess I should probably tell you the biggest news first. I’m pregnant. Okay, no that was a joke, please don’t have a stroke. All right, all seriousness though. Big news. I finished my masters! And I passed. Honestly at one point I was so tempted just to give it all up, especially after you died. I knew that I had to get it done though, that I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I got halfway through and gave up. So I kept on going. I may not have passed with any spectacular accolades, but I did do it, and that’s enough for me. I graduated on Monday. It was an emotional day. I cried beforehand when I realised you wouldn’t be able to be there to see me graduate. I almost cried again on the day, because you weren’t there. Though I might just blame that on tiredness and the overwhelming emotions of the day. I did wear your necklace though, so a part of you was there with me.

You would have been so proud of me. I remember at your funeral how the members of the stroke group you used to go to told me how all you’d ever talk about was me and my brother, and all the things we were doing. Last graduation you bought me a teddy do you remember? I don’t actually know where he is at the minute as most of my belongings are still in Mum’s cellar. Once I’ve finally moved home he’ll be going in my bedroom, along with those Star Wars prints you bought me two Christmases ago.

Leaving uni has also meant finding a job, which took some time. But I do finally have not one, but two jobs. If you’d have been here you would have definitely gone out with me for a drink to celebrate. I can also imagine you making your way to my work on your mobility scooter (would it even go that far?), just to embarrass me by making some seriously inappropriate comments. (Honestly, with you and Mum as parents I’m not sure how anyone is ever surprised when I come out with whatever inappropriate comment that pops into my head first). That’s about all I have going on in my life at the moment, but I do want to travel and do more cool shit, like that Zip Line I did on your birthday to raise money for the Stroke Association. It was so much fun! Anyways, I’ll talk to you soon,

Sophie x


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