#60. Screw You

Screw you. No, but seriously, screw you. What on earth gave you that right? Who told you that that kind of behaviour was okay? I mean really who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you can get away with treating people like that? With making people believe that you actually truly cared?

Was any of it real? Did you ever mean any of it? All those pretty words and declarations of feelings? Or was it all just an act? Just a way for you to feel better about yourself? A way to have that attention, that affection. At least until something better came along.

All those times you told me you cared. That you’d always be there. No matter the good or the bad. And yet you dropped it as soon as someone else, shinier and newer, came past. Like it was nothing. Like I never meant anything to you. And then you just pretended that it never happened. Told me it was all in my head, that you’d never said the things you’d said, never done the things you’d done.

You left me there, alone, with no explanation and a broken heart. You shattered everything I gave you, made me believe that I’d never meant anything to you. Made me believe that every one of the promises you’d made, every word you’d said was a lie. We had a future all planned out, but you ripped that from us. So screw you.

But also, thank you. Thank you for teaching me that I am stronger than I know, for teaching me that I can survive a broken heart and that I can come back stronger than I was before. Thank you for making me see that people don’t always keep their promises. Thank you for teaching me to listen to my gut. To not ignore those red flags.

Thank you for making me who I am today. Without you I wouldn’t be where I am, who I am. I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t be this strong. Thank you for making me a better version of myself, for making me stronger, tougher, better.

One day maybe you’ll see me, see what I’ve become, the incredible places I’ve been, the incredible things I’ve done. You’ll see me out there taking on the world by storm. And you’ll know that the person that I am? That one who’s so much better than anything I ever imagined when I was with you? You helped create that. Helped me to reach my full potential.

You might have pushed me off that cliff, but you taught me that I could fly.


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